I am uniquely qualified to write about this subject matter because as I female I have spent the last 18 years in the adult industry and in the last year alone, read over 100 contemporary romance novels. All in the name of good research mind you.
Most people will agree than men and woman are different. I think that’s an obvious overstated fact. Men are visual and therein lies the difference between girl porn (romance novels) and real porn (erotic videos).
This is more than just fantasy versus reality. So what is the main difference? What’s makes girl porn completely acceptable with society and yet what we do, make it come to life in the movies a big fat no no? First we need to look at the difference between girl porn and real porn.
The obvious answer to the main difference between girl and boy porn is that is that men are visual and they like to see the sex acted out before them. So instead of reading about how 7 girls got it on they watch a video called Where The Boy’s Aren’t 19. Whereas with girl porn, they don’t want it thrown in their face. That makes it “dirty”. Instead they want to use their imagination.
That’s what most people think. But I say they are wrong. Well partly.
The men part is probably true, but with women that’s not it at all. It took me awhile to get it but after reading a book called “It Had To Be You”, but Jill Shalvis. The whole book was so full of total and complete bullshit. In real life that would never have played out in the way that it did in her book.
But romance novels aren’t meant to be like real life. That is what makes them so wildly popular. In the book the main character wasn’t a trashy whore for sleeping with some guy she just met. After like two weeks they fell madly in love, he ditched his great job and moved to be with her and they lived happily ever after.
And that’s when it hit me. That’s the real difference between a romance novel and a porn. Romance novels allow you to be a trashy whore because there is always the pretense of love. It’s okay to be a slut, if you do it in the name of love.
It’s okay to sleep with a guy you just met 5 minutes ago in the storage room while the entire town is in the other room at a charity auction you organized because there is the pretense of love.
It’s not you being a dirty whore, it’s that this guy is different. There is some imaginary force drawing you to this guy and making you do things you wouldn’t normally do. That destiny has drawn the two of you together, under the guise of mystical and magical love.
For men it’s not so complicated. Men don’t need a plot. Men don’t need a story. Men don’t need a reason. They want to see a hot girl buck ass naked getting it on with, whoever or whatever. They don’t really care most times. It could be with another girl, five other men all at the same time. or a carrot.
So what makes girl porn perfectly acceptable in society and what we do, bringing those naughty stories to life on film, not acceptable?
As I’ve said at the start, I’m spent the last 18 years in the adult industry. I started in August of 1996. I know every aspect of our business when it comes to the kind of films we make and the fantasy behind the movie magic. I’ve also read a whole heck of a lot of romance novels … the very books that are celebrated in publications like the New York Times and on sites like Amazon. Giving them awards and titles like “Best Selling Author”.
Yet some of those romance novels are far more down and dirty than anything we’ve ever put on film. Some of those books are down right fucked up and quite a few include themes of rape. Something that in our industry, we would never tolerate and if we tried to make a movie about a guy who forces a girl into sex we would find our happy little asses in jail.
They politely call it “past the point of no return”. But we all know in porn there is no past the point, if a girl says no, then a girl says no. Period. It doesn’t matter what point you are at or how turned on you are.
Yet those kind of books are completely acceptable in polite society, whereas what we do is horrible and should all burn in hell for it. For “IT” … it, being a visual depiction of the very thing that they read about every single day in their good girl little romance books.
Funny how society is like that. They say it, and we show it. But when we show it, we don’t do so under the pretense of love. And that alone is what makes what we do “dirty” and unacceptable.
But you know what? I’m okay with that.
I would rather be a dirty honest whore than a delusional fucking hypocrite.